New thoughts for 2012

One of my favorite quotes (author unknown) goes like this:

“If you always think what you always thought; You always get what you always got.”

It’s so true. If we don’t change our thinking, our circumstances will remain much the same. On my last blog, I wrote about thoughts that play on in our minds (much like a song you keep humming) and our ability to change those thoughts. I want to expand on that.

Over the years, I have been using and writing about a process called “Moving up the Emotional Scale” (Abraham-Hicks) and I’ve had much success with it. I can honestly say it brought me from daily depression to the joy I experience most of the time.

Now I’m thrilled to say that Abraham’s teaching has gotten even simpler, yet more profound. You rarely hear them talk about the emotional scale anymore. Their latest teaching (or process for getting in the vortex) is about thoughts being general or specific. It’s still a scale of sorts, but on one end of the scale you have specific negative thoughts and on the other end specific positive thoughts. In my mind it looks something like this:

The goal when you’re feeling negative about anything is to soothe those specific thoughts into a more general place. Focus on the feeling, the emotions, rather than the thoughts.

Here’s an example: You’re pissed off about some thoughtless remark your friend made. You stew about it; you replay the conversation in your head; you create new conversations in which you give her a piece of your mind and put her in her place. (You’ve temporarily forgotten that you create your own reality and that she is just a reflection of your own vibration in the moment. Instead you feel justified in your feelings.) You were wronged, after all. You’re adamant that she will have to make the first move and apologize.

But justified or not, you feel shitty and the longer you hold on to those emotions, the worse you feel.

The problem is you know too much to put up with those low emotions; you’re used to feeling good. You’ve been in the vortex and you know what an addictive place that is. You want to feel better, but as long as you keep thinking those specific negative thoughts, you’re stuck. You want to feel good again but you can’t. You know you should just forgive and forget, but it’s not that easy. What do you do?

Go general!

Focus on the feeling, not the incident that caused it. Say things like: I’m feeling hurt, disappointed, misunderstood, etc, and I deserve to feel better. I’m allowing this incident to be the reason I don’t feel good, but I know that ultimately my misery is because I’m not connected to my Source right now. My Source refuses to join me in these negative thoughts and it sucks to be separated, even a little bit, from who I really am.

Imagine dumping all those specific negative thoughts into a big pot and stirring until they’re all blended together.You’re no longer looking at the specific reasons for your misery. All you see/feel is a glump of negative emotion that’s separating you from who you really are and how you could be feeling.

From there, reach for some general positive thoughts like: I know this won’t last. I’ve felt this way before, many times, and I always bounce back. This is just contrast. It’s a good thing. I’m determining what I don’t want, so I know what I do want in my life. I’m creating my own reality and I truly believe that whatever comes to me is a direct result of the vibration I’m emitting. That’s a good thing, because I’m in control of my vibration. I get to choose what I think about! I get to decide how I feel!

Once you start to feel your vibration rise, you can begin to reach for some specific positive thoughts like: I know my friend sometimes says things without thinking. And sometimes she says hurtful things because she’s struggling with her own stuff. But I know that I overreact sometimes, too. She may not even be aware that she said anything to upset me. If I mention this, we’ll probably have a good laugh over it. I’ll just tell her I was using her for a little while as an excuse to feel bad. I just needed some contrast, an excuse to bounce down, so I could bounce back up again. I really do appreciate her. She’s open and honest and speaks her mind and we can be real with each other. I like that about her. She has so many positive qualities and my life is so much richer because she’s in it.

I’ve been using this process for a few weeks now and I can’t believe how easy it is to apply. It literally takes minutes to go from specific negative to general positive. If your goal is to feel better (to be in the vortex) then no matter what the subject, you can get there.

Stop blaming. Stop justifying why you feel bad. You only ever feel bad because you’re choosing to think a thought that your Source won’t think. Period! 

You deserve to feel good. Change the way you think and see what happens. Let 2012 be your best year yet. Happy New Year!!

Humming a New Tune!

Have you ever had a song stuck in your head? You heard it somewhere and now you keep humming it over and over even though you don’t want to?

I found myself doing that the other day—for hours, the same song—and finally, I’d catch myself and stop humming, only to start again minutes later. It made me realize the power of the unconscious mind. Our thoughts play in our minds in much the same way—only we’re far less aware of them.

After trying to deliberately stop the song and then getting annoyed with it, and myself, because it wouldn’t stop, I finally clued in. I can’t just stop it. I have to replace it with a better one. So I plugged my iPhone into the docker and clicked on my selection of favorite music. Wouldn’t you know it? The one that began to play was the same song stuck in my head. It was the last one I’d been listening to.

More AHAs! Our thoughts, our vibrations, on a certain subject will stay where we last left them, too. Then, when that subject comes up again, they start playing in our minds, uninvited, until we make a conscious effort to find better ones.

We have a choice. We don’t have to listen to a song if it’s boring, repetitive or annoying. We can change it! Neither do we have to listen to thoughts (or even belief systems) that don’t serve us. The key is being aware of how a thought feels—just like the song—and replacing it with one that feels better. 

SELF-PUBLISHING TIPS

1.  Determining your target audience will help you to decide which mode of publishing is best for you. (e.g. Can your audience be reached best via the internet or will you most likely be interacting with them personally in workshops, seminars, individual coaching?) I learned with my first book that selling it myself, trying to reach my audience in person, was exhausting and definitely not my cup of tea. Consigning it in bookstores was a lot of work with very little return. I’ve found that the internet is the place for me. No more stocking books, shipping them, following up on consignment stock, etc. And marketing online vrs in person is much more suited to my introvert personality (but that’s a whole other subject)

2.  A word about companies that offer to publish your book for a fee (often called Vanity Publishers): While some publishing companies are set up to assist self-publishers and do offer valuable services, others are merely a money pit. Find out exactly what you will be receiving for your money, what services they provide (or expect you to provide). Get a detailed quote up front and definitely ask for references!! With my first book, Life’s Song, I was glad to have someone hold my hand through the whole experience, but the overall cost was considerable. With A Song of the Heart, I went with the same company, but just made use of their editing services. Now I’m my own publisher and do nearly everything myself, but I still call on a professional when needed for graphics or final proofreading. Know your strengths, be willing to learn, and don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it.

3.  Why self publish? The bottom line…control. You decide what and when and how. You have a vision; you know what you want to say and how you want the finished product to look. Sure, you’ll get advice along the way, but the final decisions are yours. And you get to choose how quickly you get your book to market.

POD companies such as Ingram’s Lightening Source http://www1.lightningsource.com/ 

or Amazon’s Create Space https://www.createspace.com/

can take your book from finished manuscript to major online bookstores in a few short weeks. You can still order a quantity of books to have on hand and sell yourself, but the beauty of Print on Demand is that a book is not printed until an order is received, and then it is shipped directly to the reader, or the retailer that orders it. Finally, you can earn the right to be noticed by a traditional publisher.

Hay House’s POD division, Balboa Press http://www.balboapress.com/Packages/CorePackages/Compare.aspx, claims that their titles are monitored regularly by the parent company in hopes to find new aspiring authors to add to their catalogue.

4.  If you’re planning to order books to sell/market, shop around. The cost of printing can vary significantly. While the benefits of POD are great, the cost to order a quantity of books through them can be higher than regular digital or off-set printers. My first book was printed through a local printer and the cost to print was nearly $7/book for 500 copies. I changed printers for my second book and paid just over $4/book for 250. Even though the books had to be shipped across the country, it was worth it. These printers, however, didn’t give me the link I needed for online exposure (one of them claimed to but it ended up costing me money just to sell a book on Amazon). So a combination of the two methods may be the best solution. I find that Lightening Source gives me the best online exposure and if I want to order books to have on hand, I do a print run through the less expensive printer I found. There’s no difference in appearance or quality, just price. When you’re getting quotes, know your book size, # of formatted pages (the number that shows up at the bottom of your Word document), desired paper weight (typically 50 or 55lb for B&W), cover weight and finish (matte or gloss). Then clear a space in your house, 500 books takes up a fair bit of space and a cold garage or damp basement isn’t the best location.

5.  There are getting to be more Print on Demand companies all the time, so check out what they offer. The differences can be subtle, but important. I’ve found Lightening Source (LSI) great to work with. They don’t hold your hand (as a publisher, you’re expected to know a thing or two) but when I asked questions they were friendly and answered them fully. With Ingram as their parent company, LSI’s distribution channels are the best I’ve seen, and the process of getting your book online or in their catalogues is easy. A friend of mine published with Create Space initially and then switched to LSI because she couldn’t get her book on Amazon.ca. Another SP author mentioned that while Create Space was created to cater to new authors and does “hold your hand”, they are, in essence, your publisher and hold certain rights to your book. Lulu and Balboa are a couple of other contenders I’m aware of. Check out their websites. All of the POD companies can provide ISBN and barcode. Most offer packages that provide basic proofreading services all the way up to completely editing your book and designing your cover.

6.  Ask yourself, “What do I want out of this?” Do you want your books in bookstores, online, or both? To be attractive to the big bookstores, you’ll need to price yourself right and set your commission at 50% or less or they won’t even look at you. You also need to make your books returnable (Stores want to be able to send your books back for a refund if they don’t sell within a certain time) so keep that in mind when you’re filling out the forms. For example, with LSI, I set the discount for my books at 20% and I check “no” in the returns box. It means the big brick and mortar bookstores won’t look at me, but it gets me on all the major online bookstores with 80% of the cover price coming back to me. The checks I’m getting regularly now from Lightening Source prove I’ve made the right decision.

7.  Within the publishing world you hear talk of agents and distributors. Most traditional publishers have a filtering system in place and generally speaking, agents are that filter. A good agent can get your book in the hands of an editor at a big name publishing house, but that’s just the first step. It has to go through many channels before it’s accepted. A distributor is necessary if you want your book in bookstores. Most bookstores, especially chains, will only buy books from their distributor’s catalogues. Again this is a filtering system. With POD publishers, you don’t need an agent and in many cases, they become your distributor. Ingram – Lightening Source’s parent company – claims to be the world’s largest distribution channel of book wholesalers and retailers. You pay a one-time fee to be listed in their catalogue and voila! now the big box bookstores will look at you. Keep in mind  you still need to make your book attractive to them with price, discount, and return policy, but that’s very doable. You also need to market your book. Even if your books get picked up by Barnes and Noble or Chapters/Indigo, they’re likely to be returned to you after a few months because most people won’t buy a book they’ve never heard of. This is where I find online marketing to be the way to go. In the last couple of months (since my Law of Attraction trilogy has been complete):

I’ve created a Fan page on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/jeanewatier  and spent time there creating a presence and making contacts.

I’ve done some inexpensive advertising – PRWeb: http://www.prweb.com/, Facebook adverts, and a magazine that is running my ad for two months.

My sales have already increased dramatically and I’m just getting started!!

8.  Whatever route you choose, if you decide to self-publish, you’ll need to make some basic decisions:

Pricing your book right means finding the balance between profit and saleability (too high and people won’t buy it; too low and you won’t cover your own costs). Generally people will pay more for information than for pleasure when it comes to books. They see nonfiction as an investment whereas a novel or a book of poetry is an indulgence. Spend some time in a bookstore and take note of prices (as well as size, design, cover layout, etc).

Size matters. Check with your printer or POD company before settling on a size for your finished book. PODs have a range of cover sizes for you to choose from. Printers can trim your book to any size, but some sizes are cheaper to print than others.

An ISBN (International Standard Book Number) is essential if you want to sell your book. In Canada, they are free and as a publisher you register with CISS: http://www.collectionscanada.gc.ca/ciss-ssci/index-e.html and receive a block of numbers.

In the US, go to: http://www.isbn.org/standards/home/index.asp.

Cataloguing in Publication, CIP, is not required,but including that information on your copyright page will allow you to sell your books to libraries. In Canada go to: http://www.collectionscanada.gc.ca/cip/index-e.html .

In the US, go to: http://www.loc.gov/publish/cip/

You’ll need a barcode on the back cover of your book if you plan to sell in stores. Barcodes are created using your ISBN and (optional) the price of the book. Most printers and PODs will provide this at no cost or for a small fee.

Finally, if you’ve written a book that you plan to self-publish, market and sell, then you are your own publisher. Come up with a name for your company and incorporate.

9.  Preparing files for print: Your manuscript is edited and proofed. Your book-size format is complete with title page, copyright page, index, preface, etc (called front matter). You’re ready to upload (or submit a hard copy of) your book to be printed. Most printers now accept pdf files of both your text and cover. If you do this yourself, keep in mind that when you print to pdf (from Word) or share -> export (from Pages), you need to choose the highest quality setting. Your cover file needs to be in CYMK color format, with all fonts converted to curves (outlines). If this sounds too complicated it’s best to have a professional review your files. Most printers and POD companies such as Lightening Source standardly review files to make sure they’re acceptable for print, but they also have in-house design people that can help you with any necessary changes. Finally, always, always request a proof. It’s your last opportunity to catch any errors in formatting, see how the cover looks, and hold the finished product in your hands before you order a large shipment or give the go-ahead to distribute on Amazon. It’s worth the extra cost!!

A great resource is Dan Poynters Self Publishing Manual http://www.amazon.com/Dan-Poynters-Self-Publishing-Manual-Write/dp/1568601425

10.  eBooks: Wow. There’s so much to be said on the subject! If you want maximum exposure for your book, this is one market that can’t be overlooked. There are various ways to make your book available as an ebook. Ask your printer; they may offer this service. Lightening Source does. However, you can do it yourself without to much difficulty. Starting with a basic (unformatted) manuscript, you can have your book available on Amazon Kindle in a few easy steps. And it’s free.

Go to Kindle Direct Publishing:https://kdp.amazon.com/self-publishing/signin.

If you want your book available on iPad, Nook, Kobo, and Sony Reader, to name a few, you can have your book converted into the necessary formats and have complete coverage. Having said that, consider that Kindle has almost 70% of the eBook market and offers free reading apps to use on a PC, Mac, iPad, iPhone and Blackberry (so your readers don’t even need to own a Kindle device to download and read books from the Amazon Kindle site.

Go to: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kcp_ipad_mkt_lnd?docId=1000493771

EDITING TIPS

1.  Get the best editor that you can afford. If that happens to be you, learn all you can, refer to reputable sources in print and online, and always have people around you that can read your work and offer you feedback. Over the next few days, I’ll be sharing what I’ve learned through trial and error about the editing process.

2.  Editing practices have changed over the years. There are way too many so-called experts out there. Editing manuals even disagree on some of the specifics. So it can be a confusing, frustrating experience at the beginning. By listening to too many different “advisors,” I’d make changes to my manuscript based on one piece of advice then hear something conflicting and change it all again. I finally put together my own editing guide/style sheet – general rules, specific examples, and a watch list of common mistakes I’ve made in spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. The Chicago Manual of Style has become my bible. My work is consistent now. I’m no longer second guessing myself. I feel more confident as an author. Doing it yourself isn’t for everyone, but if you’re a perfectionist like I am, if you have a love of the English language and a desire to learn, you can become your own editor.

3.  I use a five step editing process. The first is a quick read through to check for consistency of thought, general flow, and readability. I say quick because it’s tempting to start fixing every little mistake. Don’t. Highlight things if they need attention, but the main goal here is to get an overview, a sense of how the book reads. I highlight sections and make notes as I read. Afterward, I add detail if necessary for clarity, move sections around for better flow, create (or add to) my character profiles, and often chart relevant events on a timeline. I may do further research or verify specific details at this point.

4.  The second step is a thorough paragraph by paragraph edit. It can take me weeks to get through a 400 page novel, but the result is a much more polished manuscript. If I was an artist creating a sculpture, this is where I would smooth out the rough edges, refine specific details, get rid of any unnecessary bits. I look at a sentence and ask myself, “Can this be stated more clearly, more concisely? Is it in the active or passive voice? (Which would work better here?) Do I need to add more detail to get my point across? Is it properly punctuated?” In this edit, I go over my watch list (using the find feature on my word processing program, I search for commonly misspelled or misused words). This is where a tool like Cliche Cleaner

http://www.cliches.biz/clichecleaner/index.html

would be useful. (I haven’t tried it; it’s not available for Mac.)

5.  My third step is audio editing. It’s using your ears instead of your eyes to pick out mistakes in your work. This can be accomplished in various ways. Simply reading aloud will expose many of those sneaky little errors or omissions that your eyes miss. I use my computer’s text to speech capability. On Mac, highlight the section you want the computer to read (or it will start reading from the beginning of the document) and right click. Then click speech -> start speaking. (I have mine set as a shortcut key, so it’s convenient and fast.) When I used Windows XP it was in the tools drop-down menu. You even have a choice of voices to choose from and you can adjust the speed. A third option is downloadable software. I’ve heard good things about NaturalReader.

http://www.naturalreaders.com/index.htm,

It’s free, but check out your options. This is something I use daily – even to edit a Facebook post before I press enter! I’ve come to trust my ears – especially after my eyes have been staring at the screen for hours and really need a break.

6.  Formatting is an important part of my editing process. Formatting the book allows me to see it in a new way. I go through the book page by page, but rather than looking for errors, I’m lining up the pages (I like all the bottoms to be even), removing orphans (single words by themselves on a line at the end of a paragraph), tightening up lines (using character spacing and/or manual hyphenation), etc., and as a result, I often find things I’ve missed in the previous edit. Just a word or two here about formatting. It can seem like a daunting task and you may want to have it done by a professional, but if you’re up for the challenge you can create a professionally formatted book using Word (or Pages on Mac).

7.  FInally, I print out the formatted manuscript and proofread the paper copy. At this point I like to get feedback from a few close friends and family. This is also where I’ve had to learn to let go (I could keep on tweaking forever!) and allow others to be a part of this production. A qualified proofreader is a valuable investment and hiring a professional is a good idea at this stage.

8.  Lists: Compile lists of synonyms for common words such as “amazing,” “awesome,” “nice,” “beautiful.” These descriptors are often overused in fiction. Another handy list you can create and refer to is alternatives for “he said.” Consider descriptive words like, “he barked,” or “she grumbled.” Or better yet see if you can omit those tags altogether. Create a watch list of common mistakes you make in spelling/grammar/usage and use the edit -> find feature on your word processing program to locate all the occurrences of a problematic word or phrase in your manuscript. Here is a great article I cam across:

http://ajbarnett.hubpages.com/hub/400-Alternative-words-for-said

9.  Tools: Keep your online dictionary and thesaurus open in the background and refer to it often. Check words to make sure you’re using them in the right context. A dictionary will also show you how to properly hyphenate, how to use the word in various tenses and even list common phrases. As for your thesaurus, use it if you find yourself repeating a certain word, but keep in mind that clear and concise is better than pretentious, so avoid words that sound pompous or grandiose. Other editing tools I’ve come across: Cliche Cleaner and Natural Reader (as mentioned) and ErrNET to proofread your work.

http://www.errnet.net/product_information.html

ErrNET takes only minutes and runs on their server so there is no need to install software. The program uploads documents through your web browser and calculates price based on total number of pages. Once payment is received, ErrNET checks for errors, marks them in your document, and generates an error report. My latest book in it’s unformatted form is 120 (8.5 x 11) pages, so the cost was $50.

10.  Allow time to be your friend. A week or two between edits clears your brain and rests your tired eyes. Things you missed before will pop out as if they were highlighted. And one final tip: stay connected and enjoy the process. Life is supposed to be fun!

WRITING TIPS

 

1. Within each of us there is a wellspring of hidden creative potential. Practices such as meditation and journaling can help to access that dormant creativity. The following writing exercises can be beneficial in getting that creative flow started.
   FREE WRITING: think of a topic and write nonstop for 2 or 3 minutes, giving no thought to spelling, grammar or neatness. If you run out of ideas, keep going even if it is silly or nonsensical.
   AUTOMATIC WRITING (a similar exercise, but the emphasis here is to bypass your conscious mind and let ideas flow from a deeper place within you) Relax your hand. Breathe deeply. If possible, close your eyes. Again, don’t stop, no matter what comes out. And above all, don’t judge what you are writing.
   WRITE WITH YOUR LEFT HAND: Switching to your left hand is a powerful way to activate your right brain and allow your creative, emotional, intuitive side to have its expression. For more information on this, see Lucia Capacchione’s book, The Power of the Other Hand.
2. Trust what comes through you onto the page. Don’t question it or second guess what you write. In other words, try to keep your analytical mind out of the process. Some people work with an outline and plan what they want to include in each chapter. Some even know the ending before they get to it. That’s fine if your mind works that way. My best work comes when I let go of the thinking process and let the characters tell their own story. I love learning details about them as the story unfolds.
3. Try not to edit while you write. Although the temptation is to fix a mistake as soon as you notice it, I’ve found that it interrupts the flow. Stay focused, let the creativity take you over and have its way with you. Editing can put you in a critical frame of mind – looking for errors – and that’s not conducive to creativity.
4. It’s beneficial to keep a character profile for each of your characters – jotting down details, no matter how mundane. Do this after a session of writing, while the details are still fresh in your mind. If you write something about one of your characters in chapter 2, you don’t want to contradict yourself in chapter 10. You may also want to keep a timeline, so you can see when your characters are doing what. This was very helpful with my trilogy, as book three began, chronologically, before book two.
5. If you feel there is a certain word or phrase that would perfectly describe what you are trying to say, but in the moment you can’t quite find it, leave a blank (_______), or write a less than perfect word as a substitute and highlight it. Then move on and don’t sweat it. I’m always amazed that when I come back to that section, the exact word(s) I’m looking for pops right in to my mind.
6. Too many cliches – words or expressions that are worn out from overuse – can make your work seem stale and unappealing. Eg: cold as ice, bright and early, sick and tired, take it easy, last straw, fish out of water, garden variety, etc. Be original and keep your work fresh and unique. However the occasional use of trite expressions, slang, even bad grammar used in dialogue may make your character more believable.  I found an inexpensive software that locates cliches in your work and highlights them. Go to: http://www.cliches.biz/clichecleaner/index.html 
7. Active voice vrs passive voice. (This is one I’m still working on.) An active sentence puts the “actor” – the person or thing doing the action – first. A passive sentence puts the object of the action first. “His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing.” In the active voice it might read: “The phone rang, interrupting his thoughts.” The second sentence is more concise, drawing the reader into the action that is happening in the moment. Use the passive voice when the actor is unknown, irrelevant, or you want to be vague.  “A shiny new tower was built on the waterfront.” (The particular builder is irrelevant.) Or when you want to emphasize the person or thing being acted on. “Mary was often shocked by people’s flagrant lack of regard.” (The sentence focuses on Mary and her typical response to something.)
8. Try to set up a writing routine and stick to it for a few weeks to see if it works for you. Make time daily, even if it is just an hour or two. If not, set aside half a day, once a week as your creative time. Begin with a writing exercise or a meditation to get you in the right frame of mind. Guard this time as precious. Mark it on your calendar and tell anyone who asks that you’re busy or already have an appointment. At least once a year take yourself on a writing retreat. Get away from family and business and routine. You deserve it! Whether it’s a week or a weekend, whether it’s at a fancy resort or your friend’s house (while she’s away on holidays), make time for what’s Important to you.
9. Sometimes deadlines are unavoidable, and they can even be beneficial. They keep us moving forward to accomplish what we want. But try not to be too rigid. Working under pressure (even if it’s from yourself) can squelch creativity. If you’re feeling frustrated, pressured, or just have plain old writers block, don’t hesitate to get up and walk away from your work. Take a break, get out into nature, watch a favorite movie, play solitaire, go for coffee with a friend—anything to distract you and take your mind off what isn’t working. Come back to your work fresh and relaxed. Your best writing comes when you’re feeling connected to who you really are—and that’s a happy, healthy, creative eternal Being.
10. The urgent will drown out the important if you let it. Your creativity is an important part of who you are. Let it find its outward expression, but do so while maintaining balance in your life. I’m still learning to balance my life and my writing. I’ve made writing a priority and I love it. It’s satisfying and fulfilling, but I can get so into my work that I neglect other areas of my life. When I take time to  thoroughly clean my house, call up a friend that I haven’t seen in a while and chat for an hour on the phone, or spend a Saturday with my husband, shopping or doing odd jobs around the house or yard, I realize that I enjoy those things, too.

Losing Weight

This blog isn’t about what you think it’s about. So if you tuned in wanting tips on how to shed unwanted pounds, you may be disappointed.

But don’t leave yet; this may apply to you, too.

Have you ever thought about how others see you. What you see in the mirror and the image you hold in your mind is one thing, but what others see may be something else altogether.

They say it’s all about perception. But what are people really perceiving?

The other evening, my husband and I ran into a neighbor we knew from more than ten years ago. We started reminiscing, had a few drinks, and filled each other in on our lives and our kids lives.

Throughout the evening, he kept making comments about how we’d both changed. Three times he commented that I’d lost weight. In the past ten years I’ve actually put on 15 – 20 lbs, so I was quite surprised at his comments. Rather than correct him (I tried but he didn’t seem to hear me) I just let it go.

The next day, my husband brought it up and made a rather interesting (and insightful) comment. He reminded me that ten years ago I was still suffering from depression and that maybe the “heaviness” our neighbor had perceived was emotional, not physical.

That got me thinking. What do we really see when we look at people? What do they see when they look at me?

Obviously people can see and even sense when a person is happy, but I’m beginning to think it’s more than that. The vibrations we’re giving off influence how others perceive us in a more comprehensive way. And that perception is what they take away with them—what stays in their memory and what image pops up whenever they think of us.

The movie Shallow Hal (2001) illustrates this in a comical way. Jack Black’s character is, well, shallow. But after an encounter with Tony Robbins, he sees women in a new way and falls for a beautiful, but large Gwyneth Paltrow. He is seeing only her inner beauty, but what is inner beauty if not our vibration, our emotional countenance?

Does that emotional countenance have the power to distort even our physical appearance?

Vibrationally speaking, I’m much lighter than I used to be. I have lost weight in that sense. I’m happy now and I can even feel the “lightness”—the spring in my step, the smile that’s genuine, the youthful desire to skip in the park or jump in a pile of leaves or make a snow angel. So it makes sense that others pick up on that, too.

I’m glad to have lost the weight of depression, glad that it shows on my face and in the vibe that I now give off. And maybe when I get too caught up in the details of my physical appearance, I need to remind myself that that’s not what people are really “seeing” anyway.

Learning to trust myself…more insight

Another successful move.

Two months ago when we made the decision to move, downsize and all that, we didn’t know where, or how the details would play out. It was fun taking that plunge and it definitely involved an element of trust I hadn’t experienced in a while. To sum up, we found the most adorable garden condo…so private and quiet, and despite the reduction in square footage, we actually have more space. Much more storage and the open concept gives us more entertaining room. Four bedrooms means we still have an office and a spare bedroom/meditation room. Our MB is larger and our son has his own room in the basement. When I walk around the grounds and see the immaculately tended flower beds and freshly cut grass, I’m so thankful I get to enjoy that without the work required.

The move itself went smoothly. We actually got to start moving in two weeks early. We had already pre-booked Shaw to set up phone/internet and thought we might have to do without it for a while (eeeegads!!) but the hook-up was still live here so we just plugged right in. We had a wonderful cleaning company do the final clean on the house and lots of help on moving day. I’m looking forward to meeting my neighbors and discovering the parks and pathways around here with Cassie.

So what did I learn from this?

I learned to trust my instincts more. This was the first place we came across (found it online) and although we couldn’t get in to see it right away, Ron and I both agreed it felt right and after seeing two other places in the same neighborhood, we were even more convinced we didn’t need to look any further.

I learned that I have a long-standing tendency to stress over things way too much, and knowing this I was able to take time out, just breathe deeply, walk the dog, go for a latte, etc and simply trust that everything always works out alright.

I learned that my inner being knows what I want/need better than I do, so I may as well trust and follow the guidance provided. It saves a lot of hassle. lol. It gets me to where I really want to be much faster and without the unnecessary road bumps that inevitably occur when I try to orchestrate things myself.

I’m excited about creating some great memories in our new home. It really feels as though a new chapter has begun (a fitting analogy for a writer. ha!)

Learning to trust my Self—an ongoing journey

It’s interesting how we learn. Aha’s come by various means. Reading other’s work can inspire new realizations. Meditating can open the door to inner guidance. Friends can offer well-timed advice. Nature (even an adorable puppy) can provide analogies fitting to where we’re at in life.

Recently, I’ve gained great insight from reflecting on my past.

As I looked back, selectively sifting through past memories and experiences, one stood out to me. It stood out for two reasons. One, because it was a particularly good memory; and two, because it was something that had served me well in the past that I wasn’t using effectively in my present.

It was trust.

As a new Christian in my early twenties, I was eager to experience life in the safe, loving environment that an evangelical church offered. It was there I found true friendships with like-minded people; it was there I was first able to express my feelings and not be judged; it was there I met the love of my life, now my husband.

It was there I learned about faith.

Until that point in my life, I’d never really trusted anyone or anything completely (especially myself), but the all-knowing, all-loving God I was introduced to offered me the opportunity to try. I fully embraced the new feeling, like I’d been waiting my whole life for the experience of diving headfirst into new adventures armed with the confidence that my God was big enough to keep me safe and lead me to my greatest good.

I look back fondly on those first few years of my Christian experience.

I can think of so many times that my faith led me perfectly. I was naive then, too, and I think that helped. LOL. I was willing to do anything, go anywhere if I believed it was “God’s will.”

The particular memory that came back to me recently was this:

I was happily married with two beautiful little girls. We had just built a new house in Saskatoon. Ron had a great job. We had so many close friends. Life was good. Then one day he came home and said, “What would you think about moving to BC?” Without hesitation, I said, “Sure, if it’s God’s will.”

In complete faith, we listed our house and prepared to move. To sum up, our house sold in 2 weeks, Ron’s company paid for our move (found out later they didn’t pay for another employee that moved around the same time) and they sold him an older truck for a dollar! (we only had one vehicle and needed two). We set off—Ron driving the Uhaul pulling our little car and me driving the half-ton truck. We arrived in Abbotsford two days later having made no arrangements for a place to live. After staying in a cute little motel with a kitchenette for the better part of a week, we found the perfect house to rent. We found out later that the vacancy rate was the lowest ever and 12 other couples had been to see the house the same day we did. The house had everything we wanted and the best neighbors we could have asked for. We’re still friends to this day.

Now fast forward 21 years.

My belief system has changed; my God has expanded; I’ve tasted the kind of freedom that I couldn’t find in a religious system. I love my life more than ever…

But what about my faith?

Somewhere along the road, I lost that precious, naive, pure, innocent childlike faith.

Don’t get me wrong; I’ve learned some very important things: I’ve learned that I create my own reality, that my thoughts are vibrations I’m emitting, and that I receive back exactly what I put out there. I’ve learned that I am God, that I’m connected to All That Is.

But when it comes to trusting ME, the faith isn’t as strong, the trust isn’t as unwavering as it used to be. Bottom line: I threw out my all-encompassing faith when I turned my back on a version of God that turned out to be judgmental and inconsistent.

What is trust anyway? If you think about it, trust is really just Law of Attraction at work.

Two decades ago, I believed without a doubt that everything would work out all right and it did—in fact, better than I had dared to imagine. I got back exactly what I put out there. Somewhere along life’s path, however, doubt knocked on the door, and I invited it in, gave it a room and offered it dinner.

Now I want to recapture that trust.

I want to taste again that feeling of jumping off a cliff (I’m talking figuratively here. LOL) and knowing the parachute will not only open, but will take me on a scenic adventure, showing me life from breathtaking heights and panoramic vistas.

I want to have the same trust in ME (my Greater Self) as I did in the God of the bible. They’re one and the same. It’s only my perception that’s changed.

Stay tuned…

I have some more to say on this subject. I’ve received some interesting aha’s and I’ll try to sum then up in my next post.

Interview

The following is an e-mail interview I did with Sennaya Swamy at http://www.egyptiancode.com/

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Jeane Watier took time to share her insightful thoughts about meditation and the Law of Attraction in this new e-mail interview.  To read more about Jeane, visit her blog at jeanewatier.wordpress.com.
For those who aren’t familiar with your blog, where can they find it and what is it about?
My blog can be found at jeanewatier.wordpress.com. I write about the Law of Attraction, as I understand it and apply it in my life.

Some people are facing a lot of negativity in their life, how do they protect themselves?
This question points at an underlying belief that is rampant in our society today. That is: negativity is a given, and we have to push against or even fight against that which is not wanted. But there is another way to look at life and the things that we as individuals or society as a whole face. The Law of Attraction (LOA) is a Universal law that is at work in our lives, whether we know about it or believe in it or not. The process has been described by well-known teachers as: “like attracts like,” “thoughts become things,” or “you get what you think about whether you want it or not.” That alone should be enough to convince us that if we continue to focus on the negative aspects of our lives, we will only attract more of what we don’t want. But I’ve found that while I wholeheartedly believe in LOA, trying to drag my thoughts away from something that is loud, frightening or annoying and in my face, or painful and in my body, is easier said than done. Finding something to distract myself—finding relief in a thought or an activity—does work, and applied consistently it will produce positive results over time. However, something even more serious is happening in our society and your question shines the spotlight on it. It seems that more and more people are living in fear, wanting to protect themselves against what is “out there,” threatening not only their happiness, but their very existence. Some cower in their living rooms barely able to tear themselves away from the steady stream of negative news that is coming at them via television. Others join forces to fight against whatever they deem to be a threat. But either way, whether in essence or in action, they are all looking directly at what they don’t want and shouting “no” at it. And isn’t it interesting that with so many people against things like terrorism, aids, cancer, you name it, that these things are as prevalent as ever? The solution, I believe, comes not in pushing against the unwanted; it comes in embracing the good that abounds. We are vibrational beings, made up essentially of energy and connected with the Source of all energy some call God. This Universal Source of energy is constantly flowing, and all that flows from it is good—there is no source of evil or sickness or lack of any kind, just as there is no source of darkness. But we create the illusion of darkness by denying the light. The amount of attention being put on what is wrong in our world today causes it to be blown way out of proportion. If people could take their eyes off “what is” for just a moment and look for the good that is all around them, they would begin to see and experience more and more of it. We all have that choice.

For those who are new to meditation, how can they get started?
Meditation is an effective way to take our minds off “what is.” If we can stop that negative chatter—even for a few minutes at a time—we will benefit immensely. Two things that I have found helpful are: don’t meditate to make something happen, and don’t be too hard on yourself, especially at first, if you can’t shut off the stream of thoughts.
1. Let meditation be a source of connection to your higher self, the Universe, God. Do it for the pleasure and comfort of finding that inner peace. Let it be “your time”—a time when nothing else matters, a time when you get to feel pampered, loved, and tended to by All That Is. Keep it simple and pure with no underlying motives. Don’t do it to become more worthy, more spiritual. Don’t do it with a specific desire or goal in mind.
2. We’re programmed to think incessantly. We are constantly bombarded with noise in our outer world; it’s no wonder our inner world is filled with chatter. It will take time and practice to quiet this noise. Just be an observer at first. Imagine yourself seated, just watching the stream of thoughts without judgment. By doing this you separate yourself from the thought. In your mind make a statement like, “I can choose to release those thoughts.” (or a similar statement that gives you a feeling of power). At that point, consciously relax your physical body. Starting with your jaw—let it relax completely and then feel the relaxation settle over the rest of your body. As you do this, “feel” the thoughts fall away as you continue to focus on relaxation. I like to imagine myself weightless, floating away from the stream of thoughts I’ve just visualized, gradually increasing the distance each time I do it. This may only last a few seconds before a thought seems to steal your attention, but don’t get frustrated. With practice you can increase the “time away” from your thoughts.

How can one use the law of attraction to get what they want in their life?
A proper understanding of the Law of Attraction (LOA) is essential. For example: getting LOA to “work” for us can be a self-defeating thought. People often ask the question, “Why is it working for that person and not for me?” It helps to know that the Law of Attraction is at work at all times—it’s a Universal manager matching up things with similar vibrations. Just like the law of gravity, once you understand the principle behind it, you can begin working with it to your benefit.
1.  Observe your thoughts (or better stated, pay attention to how your thoughts feel). If a thought doesn’t feel good, it is in opposition to what you really want. But don’t get too caught up here. I’ve found that maintaining a general desire to feel good is more effective than a deliberate effort to control your thoughts on a certain subject.
2.  Balance is important. Contrast causes us to have desires; it’s inevitable. But it’s easy to get out of balance when we focus on the desire. When you want something so badly that you equate the having of it with joy (ie: if only I had that in my life, then I’d be happy, or if it wasn’t for that unwanted thing, I’d be happy), you set yourself up to fail. As Abraham-Hicks says, “You have to make peace with what is.” Find something (anything) positive about “what is” and appreciate it. Use deliberate techniques like meditation to take your mind off the negative.
3.  Take small steps. Look for relief, rather than results. Use positive affirmations, but tailor them to you; keep them realistic (something your mind can accept as truth. ie: Instead of saying, “I have all the money I want,” say, “I have everything I need right now, in this moment.”)
4.  Define what you want. Reduce your desire to it’s essence. Is it really the money you want or is it the joy, freedom, prestige, accomplishment, fulfillment, entitlement, etc. that you think having money would give you. It can be easier to think general thoughts of freedom than specific thoughts of money (because those tend to be accompanied by thoughts of when and how).
5.  Be specific if it feels good (imagine yourself in your new car or with your new partner). But realize that your desire has been building over time and the vibrational match to what you’ve been asking for may be different (and definitely better) than what you think you want in the moment. Allow your greatest good. The Universe knows better than you do what you want. Trust that your desire will be fulfilled, and let the Universe surprise and delight you!

My Greatest Good

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this little phrase. What is my greatest good anyway? Do I even know? I’m beginning to think I don’t. Not really.

Since I’ve been learning about the Law of Attraction and especially listening to Abraham-Hicks teachings, my desires have skyrocketed. If I had desires before (I know I did, cause we can’t avoid it) they were beaten down and disregarded, judged and filed away as frivolous thoughts. My religious upbringing and feelings of unworthiness played a big part in that.

But once I let myself dream…Wow! All those buried desires as well as many new ones sprang to life. It was fun for a while. Then when things I really wanted seemed to elude me for long periods, it became a source of frustration. Now I’m finding balance. Still allowing myself to enjoy the unfulfilled desires and finding contentment in what is.

So much has manifested in my life through deliberate focus, that I know this stuff works. But as I look back on how those desires came about, I’ve come to some conclusions that I think will serve me well going forward.

When I began dreaming on purpose, I followed all the “rules.” I made vision boards, kept a book of positive aspects, practiced appreciation, pasted affirmations all over my house, reached for better feeling thoughts…you know, all the wonderful stuff Abe teaches. And don’t get me wrong; I highly recommend those processes and still use many of them myself. But I love the simplicity of “Get in the Vortex…and then.” I’m recognizing those precious moments more and more now and milking them for all they’re worth.

But what I learned from doing all the processes is that the more I defined what I wanted, the more it seemed to elude me. I didn’t understand that. For example, I knew the kind of vehicle I wanted—the make, the model, the year, the color, all the interior and exterior features—I had it down. I kept a picture on my desktop and saw this vehicle everywhere I went. I held to this vision steadfastly, not willing to settle for anything less. I should also mention that as part of another desire (never to be in debt again), I wanted to own this vehicle free and clear, no financing. And I wanted it in my name.

When the year began I had no idea how this would come about. But in February, my mom, at 87, was ready to make her transition and generously left me a nice chunk of money. Thanks Mom! But when the money finally arrived in May, although it was enough to buy a new vehicle just as I had envisioned, I’d convinced myself that spending it all in one place was foolish (That was one of Mom’s favorite lines by the way. Whenever she gave me money, she said, “Don’t spend it all in one place.”) So I had my dream vehicle on hold at a Toyota dealership, and had decided that I would only put half down and finance the rest (through my husband, because being a stay at home mom, recently turned author, my credit wasn’t good enough) On the day the money arrived, however, I had an epiphany! What I was about to do was not in line with my desires at all. It just didn’t feel right.

To make a long story short, I got my red Rav4. It’s 2 years old, a sport model rather than a limited edition. It has leather seats (which I thought I didn’t want) and has no GPS, Blue tooth or multiple CD player. But you know what? It’s perfect!! It’s got low milage and it’s fully paid for (it cost half of what a new one would, so I have money left over for other fun stuff). This newer Sport edition has a hard cover on the back tire (that’s the look I like). Leather seats are so much more practical now that I have a dog. My new iPhone has a GPS app, can hold multiple Abe workshops and plays through my vehicles sound system. Blue-tooth is something I can easily add in the future.

Turns out my greater desire was to remain debt-free, to exercise my independence by buying a vehicle myself rather than relying on my husband (I love him dearly, but sometimes a girl’s just gotta do things for herself).

I feel like so many desires manifested that day and it made me see that if I’m not so rigid, the Universe can surprise and delight me! And then as if the Universe was winking at me, I discovered that the picture I had on my screensaver was actually a sport model, not the Limited Edition I thought I wanted, and I hadn’t even noticed.

I’ve seen my greatest good come to me in other ways as well. I’d planned a writing retreat as a gift to myself when this money arrived and again had all the specifics in mind and every detail was planned. A miscommunication left me with no place to stay at the last minute. Having just seen how the Universe worked, I took a deep breath and asked for my greatest good in this situation as well. The result was the most magical week in a beautiful little Inn right on the water, a top floor suite—self contained with spectacular views of the Gulf Islands, a family of eagles—one of which like to perch in the treetop outside my window, and a delicious week of uninterrupted writing like I’ve never experienced before.

So I’ve learned to allow my greatest good and I hope I can apply this to all my desires. The Universe knows so much better than I do what I really want!