As you might have assumed by the title, this blog isn’t about action. It dawned on me the other day that action can only take you as far as your belief system will allow.
This blog isn’t even about weight loss. It’s about alignment.
I want to tell you about my journey. Yes, I did lose weight, (I prefer to call it shedding or releasing, as losing infers that you’ll likely find it again) but my real journey has been an emotional one. I was always slim. As a teenager, I was extremely skinny. During my pregnancies, I barely gained more than the baby I was carrying. Even into my forties, I could still wear a bikini. And I always, ALWAYS, got the comment, “You’re so lucky!”
I guess I was. I could eat anything and gain nothing. In fact, in my thirties, I had to “diet” to gain weight and eat deliberately to maintain 130 lbs – a minimum healthy weight for my 5’8” frame.
After I turned 45, something changed.
I started gaining weight. I didn’t notice it right away, and when I did, I wasn’t overly concerned. I still looked good and felt okay. But as my weight creeped up to 150, and settled uncomfortably around my midsection, I began to take action: I cut back on carbs, ate more salads, ate smaller portions, etc. I began a palates routine and stuck to it daily for a couple of years. However, nothing I did seemed to stop the increase.
By April of this year (2012), I had reached 160 lbs and was embarrassingly aware of the excess – especially the muffin-top above my jeans. I hid it with looser clothing and tried to laugh it off, even accept it – as so many people I knew were dealing with the same issue.
In May, my latest novel received a prestigious book award and I made plans to go to New York to attend a gala ceremony where I would receive my gold medal. Of course, I’d need a new dress, but shopping turned out to be an exercise in frustration. I wanted to look good on my special night, but everything I tried on seemed to draw attention to what I saw as a hideous bulge around my middle. I finally settled on a dress. A knit fabric, it fit well, was high wasted and had ruching around the middle to supposedly hide my imperfections.
New York was a blast, and I thoroughly enjoyed the gala evening. All was well until I returned home and began looking at the pictures we had taken. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was disgusted (I’m just being honest) by what I saw.
I saw a fat person.
Until then, though I’d acknowledged I had gained weight, I didn’t see myself as fat. I’d always been slim and some part of my brain still thought I was. So…acting on that extremely negative emotion (I hated the way I looked), I started on a weight loss program* that a friend had tried and highly recommended. It was incredibly difficult at first. My food intake was seriously reduced and my choices were severely limited.
Every part of my being cried out in protest!
Physically, I was hungry and tired. I had a headache for 3 days straight. Emotionally I was a mess. As a student of Law of Attraction, I’d learned that I was unlimited, that I could be or do or have anything I wanted. I’d been told – and had seen evidence of it in other areas – that life didn’t have to be hard. Something didn’t add up.
By the end of the first week, I knew I had to make a decision – either quit the program or line up with it. I decided to line up with it. I even came to enjoy the approved recipes, savoring the little I could eat, and watching my weight go down. Long story short, I lost 23 ½ lbs in 28 days. I hadn’t quite reached my goal, but I was thrilled. I felt better than I had in years. I looked great. I was savoring all the compliments I was receiving.
But somewhere in the back of my mind a little voice was whispering, “Now what?” Since I had embarked on an action journey, would I have to keep up the action to maintain the results? Again, something in me cried out, “It doesn’t have to be hard; there’s an easier way!”
After 4 weeks of dieting, I followed a strict 3-week maintenance program, (which felt like heaven after such deprivation). I was told it was natural to “bounce back” a little and that my weight would settle and maintain even when I went back to eating normal.
Maybe it was because I didn’t really believe that. Maybe it was because I talked to people who’d been on the program, lost the weight, and then gained some or all of it back in time. Maybe it was because I knew there had to be a better way. Whatever it was, I went forward feeling uneasy.
In the 3 weeks following the maintenance, I gained 5 lbs. I didn’t even “bounce” at all. Every time I stepped on the scale, my weight had increased.
During this time, I had been asking my Inner Being for guidance and clarity. I knew there was an easier way and was determined to find it. I loved Abraham’s new teaching on “The Grid” and it occurred to me one day that this was the answer I’d been looking for.
I also became aware that I had some unhealthy thought patterns and belief systems about eating, weight gain/loss and self image. I began to examine those, and I started listening to everything I could about The Grid.
THE GRID is the emotional framework for our desire. It is the basis, the beginning of all that we see in manifested form. Creating it is our work (or the part we play in the creation of All That Is), our ONLY work. Once we create a grid, its the Universe’s job to fill it in, not ours. When we try to fill in the grid ourselves, our feeble efforts produce small results that don’t last!
The unhealthy belief systems I’d been holding on to had created a grid – one that filled in with weight gain, despite my earlier efforts to keep that from happening. Some of those were:
- It’s natural to gain weight after you turn forty. (Someone told me that when I was in my thirties and it stuck)
- Some foods are good/healthy. Others are bad/unhealthy (You hear that everywhere!)
- Diet and exercise are essential to lose pounds and maintain a healthy attractive weight (Everyone seems to believe that to some degree)
- I’d unconsciously delegated certain foods as “comfort foods” turning to them whenever I was feeling a little off instead of dealing with the issue.
- I’d tried to “insulate” myself form hurts of the past, protecting myself from further exposure to pain and heartache. Physically, that resulted in weight gain in my chest and stomach area.
Awareness is so powerful and once I was aware of the grid I had been creating, I worked to replace it. I focused on the ease and comfort of wellbeing. I began to see my body – as well as the food I wanted to consume – as cooperative components to my desire to maintain a healthy and attractive weight.
I’d practiced this grid for several days when I woke up one morning with a powerful sense of wellbeing. I felt a comforting, guiding hand on my shoulder and the giddiness that comes with release of resistance. I weighed myself the next morning and for the first time in weeks I had lost – 1 ½ lbs!
My attitude toward food changed dramatically. Suddenly I knew that anything I desired WAS good for me and would be used efficiently and affectively by my body. I began to savor everything I ate. There was no binging or eating things I didn’t even like just because I could. I just ate and enjoyed. Period.
That was three weeks ago and I have continued to shed pounds. I’ve shed 6 lbs (I weight myself every Monday and am excited to step on the scale now!) and want to shed 1 ½ more to reach my desired weight of 135 lbs.
I’m so excited. Not just because I’ve lost the weight, but because of the incredible alignment I feel. I know I’m a powerful creator, but demonstrating it in a deliberate way is exhilarating. Not only that but it gives me the confidence to apply this in other areas of my life.
In truth, I haven’t lost anything. I’ve gained so much. Thank you Abraham! Thank you Universe!!!
“So here we will drop the BIG BOMB on you- IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT YOU EAT IT ONLY MATTERS HOW YOU FEEL WHEN YOU EAT IT. You could eat dirt, (we don’t know why any of you would want to) or CANDY, or any number of things that you have convinced yourself you should not eat, and if you were doing it in a vibration of “letting it in” your body would figure out how to make good use of WHATEVER you are consuming. On the other hand, you could eat the most nutritious of foods by the standards that have been set by your world at large, and if you are uncomfortable with yourself while you are doing it, the best of that which they call ” The Best” would NOT nurture you at all, because you’re not letting it in. Sort of like pinching it off so that even though the volume is going through you, the VALUE is not getting to you, because you are vibrationally not allowing it. So it is not about what you are doing, it is about how your are FEELING while you are doing it, you see.”
–Abraham Boston 10/7/00
*The diet plan I followed is called “Weight To Go.” It uses homeopathic (HCG) drops to maintain your body’s wellbeing while on such a limited calorie intake. I loved the quick results and felt a benefit from the cleansing it provided my body. As an action journey, I recommend it. My advice: once you make the decision, line up with it. Do it with joy and determination, expecting results…BUT do the emotional journey as well. Before, during or after, I don’t think it matters. That’s what produces lasting results!
Jeane Watier is an award-winning author of Visionary Fiction.
Life’s Song, the first novel of her Law of Attraction trilogy, won a bronze medal in the 2012 Living Now awards.
Her latest novel, A Brief Moment in Time, won a gold medal for visionary fiction in the 2012 Independent Publishers Book Awards, and honorable mention for general fiction in the 2012 Hollywood Book Festival