Living (and writing about) the Law of Attraction!

Posts tagged ‘feeling good’

My Emotional Evolution (more Insight about Abraham’s Step 4 teaching on Unconditional Love)

I woke up with clarity this morning (I love it when that happens!) about the evolution of my emotional condition. I got a detailed overview of the various stages through which I’ve progressed.

For the first few decades of my life, my emotions seemed to be completely and totally tied to conditions—whatever was going on around me—and I was hardly aware of the correlation. Even if I made the connection in my mind, I felt powerless to do anything about it. Something would happen in my world and I’d have an emotional response. PERIOD.

Then came enlightenment. For me it began about 15 years ago. But it was my introduction to Abraham-Hicks in 2004 that really kick-started my transformation. I learned that I had the ability to control my emotions (i.e. feel good on purpose.) That understanding transformed my life, taking me from depression to an overall state of happiness most of the time. It was a process, though; it certainly didn’t happen overnight.

As I realized I could decide how I wanted to feel—by continually choosing thoughts that felt better—my work became establishing/ controlling/ maintaining my emotional well-being.

HOWEVER… I can see now that I was still observing conditions, having emotional responses, and then dealing with them.

As I became aware of my changed vibration/ emotion, I would do the work—that is, apply the processes I was learning from Abraham and bring myself back to the joy which was becoming my set-point. NOTE: at the beginning this took weeks or even months. Over time, I could do it in days or hours if not minutes. Nevertheless, I was becoming a deliberate creator and excited about it!!

But what I had yet to learn is that the creation process is much more than just responding to conditions.

I understand now (Thank you, Abraham!!) that my emotions—how I choose to feel in the moment—can be utterly free of conditions. I can select, conjure, and enjoy the preferred feeling regardless of what’s going on around me. This, too, has been a process. I’ve been practicing for months now. It’s so liberating!

Conditions are still an important part of the play that I’m in, but they’re just the props, the background music, and the supporting actors. Emotions take center stage. In fact, they set the stage—determine which props are needed, pick the background music that matches the scene, and call on the appropriate actors to support my play.

THE EMOTIONS DETERMINE THE CONDITIONS—not the other way around!! (It’s always been that way I just couldn’t see it.)

I’ve become quite good at conjuring emotions (my last blog touched on that, and I’ll probably have more to offer about it in the coming weeks.) For now, I’ll just say its exciting, empowering, addictive, and just plain FUN!!

Where I’ll go from here in my emotional evolution, I don’t know. I certainly haven’t “arrived” (we never do.) However, I’m content to play with this new understanding for a while and look eagerly forward to the next aha!

Where the sweet nectar really lies—More step 4* insight

(*Step 4 is part of Abraham-Hicks latest teaching)

2014 has been an amazing year of expansion—of wonderful, satisfying growth! I’ve been giving myself numerous opportunities to practice Step 4. I’m really beginning to not just understand but to practice UNCONDITIONAL LOVE (good-feeling EMOTION not based on or stemming from a condition). My ultimate desire is to feel good, to be in alignment, to be in those high-flying emotions consistently—all without needing conditions to change!

Still, some days I don’t find it easy to NOT look at conditions and be affected by them. Today I found myself momentarily focused on lack. (I have to say here that I’m making progress because now I’m aware of it sooner AND I’m able to observe it without (as much) judgement. YEAH for me!!). This morning, my thought process went something like this: Interesting, I’m focused on lack. Hmmm, that doesn’t feel so good. Source isn’t focused there, so I don’t want to be either. There’s so much good I could be focusing on, yada, yada, yada…

HOWEVER…

I was also aware—and this is a recent AHA! for me—that I didn’t just want to find a pleasant condition and look there so I could feel better (i.e. the morning sun shining in my front window, the taste of my delicious latte). That’s the way I tried to feel better in the past, but knowing what I know now, there’s a downside to that – like when the sky is gray or I’m out of milk for my latte. INSTEAD, I knew I wanted to find that better feeling FIRST, and then be inspired where to look or what to do! And because I’ve been practicing, it didn’t take long to do just that.

In the wonderful, delicious alignment that followed, I got some more insight:

I realized that in the past I’ve tried to avoid thinking about certain desires because thinking about them was often painful. I tried to protect myself against the possible hurt and disappointment. I subconsciously set up the association: Desire X = lack. That unconscious association sent out warnings: Caution! Thinking about Desire X when it hasn’t happened—and not knowing when it will happen—will bring up feelings of lack, disappointment and discouragement! Because of this I often went to great lengths to avoid the topic.

I saw how I’ve done this repeatedly, unknowingly. I’ve picked up what Abraham calls the stick (I gave my attention to a subject) and briefly glanced at the fruitful end. But just as quickly I turned my gaze to the other end, the lack end, and kept it there. Then I wrongly concluded that focusing on that subject is painful and somehow dangerous, and it’s better to stop looking altogether. Now I see what I’ve been missing. Now I can keep my focus/ my attention on the fruitful end of the stick and drink the sweet nectar it offers.

NOTE: I also realized I had unknowingly assigned certain desires more value, more weight, more importance—you know, the “big” ones. In doing that I’ve been holding them apart from me because I believed that within this “greater” assigned value lay the desired feelings of freedom, satisfaction, fulfillment and worthiness. (but that’s another blog topic)

Anyway, this morning something new/ different happened. In reaching for and finding a general good feeling of alignment (sans condition!), I quickly felt myself moving toward specifics. The words adventure and fun popped into my mind. I repeated them a few times, like Esther Hicks does, and soon thoughts/images began to appear in my mind. I’m assuming that because I had already activated thoughts of Desire X, these new thoughts/ images were also associated with that taboo desire.

Only it wasn’t taboo anymore!!

I began to think about Desire X in a whole new way! Instead of thinking about it and feeling lack as in the past, I began using aspects and elements of my desire to augment, supplement, enhance, intensify emotions I was already feeling (i.e. adventure and fun). I realized for the first time that the desire itself was rich with potential, dripping with opportunity to focus, primed and ready to take me on a very satisfying ride. All along it’s been offering me something absolutely wonderful. Only I couldn’t see it! It seems clear to me now that this may be the very reason we have desires—not just to see them manifest, that’s only a small part of it.

Our desires hold not just the potential for manifestation and ultimate expansion, they offer a direct route to what we truly want which is the good-feeling place—a place we mistakingly believe is beyond (and dependent on) the full-blown manifestation. It’s not!!

The idea, the possibility of Desire X happening (doesn’t matter when or how) holds for me an endless source of adventure and fun. I don’t need it to manifest in order to experience those feelings. It’s offering me so much right now. I couldn’t experience it with an attitude like: “This will feel good when it finally happens.” OR “I don’t want to let myself get too excited because what if it doesn’t happen soon, or at all.” Those old tapes have stopped playing!

Now I want to dive in and experience the deliciousness of all that pre-manifestation has to offer!

I’m returning to blog-writing after a couple of hours, and I can joyfully claim I did just that—I let myself dive into Desire X in a way I never have before. I went higher, deeper, further than ever before. I imagined things I’d never dared to imagine—took visualization to a whole new level for me. This time there was no fear of disappointment, no caution flags waving—things that in the past would have diverted my attention to the other end of the stick. The experience was pure joy, undeniably fun, and filled with delicious, satisfying morsels of adventure.

I tasted the sweet nectar that desire holds… 

And it’s there for me any time I want! The sweet nectar is not the manifestation; it’s the realization that the emotional journey TO the manifestation IS the main event, the truly desired desire! This much I knew—intellectually at least.

The new piece for me is that I now understand (and can feel) that my emotional journey is meant to be taken THROUGH my desires not in spite of them. This is HUGE for me as I have been attempting to feel good while ignoring/ denying certain long held desires—and while I’ve succeeded to a degree (I do feel good much of the time), there’s something off about the approach.

There’s a great measure of FREEDOM and RELIEF in this for me, and what feels like the direct route I mentioned. No more having to avoid certain subjects, no more sidestepping potential land-mines!!

Finally, let me say that manifestation is great, but I prefer to think of it as a lovely dessert after a satisfying meal, a delightful by-product, a wonderful after-effect, a souvenir of a memorable journey. It may even be the proof to others, but it’s no longer the proof I need of the power and control I can have over my own experience.

A MOMENTUM EXPERIMENT

I’ve decided to share my ideas for a group I’m organizing this summer. I’ll try to post once a month to keep everyone updated. At first I thought of calling it a mastermind group, but somehow the title doesn’t fit with my concept for the group, so I’ve decided to call it a “Momentum Experiment” for two reasons.

  1. It’s based on Abraham-Hicks latest teaching on momentum.
  2. I’m curious to see how my ideas (based on Abraham’s practical teaching) will play out in a group setting.

If you’re not familiar with Abe’s latest teaching and want to learn more, check out the Cancun Land Cruise workshops (or other recent Abe workshops). They’re amazing! For now, I’ll try to sum it up in a few sentences:

  • Thoughts are energy (vibration) and are organized by the Law of Attraction. They can be powerful if allowed to gain momentum.
  • As we think a thought for as little as 17 seconds a similar thought  joins it, Another 17 seconds, and more of the same are attracted. By the time we think about a subject for 68 seconds, our thoughts have gained significant momentum, so that thinking them becomes natural, effortless and they will continue in that direction by their own force.
  • This is good if our thoughts are positive, but if they’re negative, practiced, habitual thoughts packed with emotion, the momentum can build so quickly that it might feel as though our thoughts are thinking us, that they are controlling us in some way.
  • The good news is that positive momentum can be garnered through deliberate focus with a little practice. Negative momentum will dissipate quickly once we cease giving it our attention. (Abraham offers tips and processes for doing that)
  • It’s all about being aware of our thoughts, particularly how our thoughts make us feel. By being aware of the direction of our thoughts early on, we can stop negative thoughts before they gain enough momentum to keep going on their own.

As individuals it would be of benefit  to us to:

  • pay more attention to what we think and what we speak about to others.
  • spend more time looking for positive things to focus on (even keep a notebook to record these things)
  • have tools that will help us take control of our thoughts and enable us to spend more time feeling good than feeling bad.
  • raise our vibration so we can be happy and healthy and prosperous and shine in a way that others around us see and want to emulate.

As a group we could benefit by:

  • uplifting one another
  • meeting regularly to report our successes and hear about each others progress in this area
  • raising our vibrations through the fun and encouragement of being together
  • staying committed and accountable

The GOAL/INTENT of this experiment will be to raise our vibrational energy, both individually and as a group, as we become more positively focused, and to keep the positive momentum going through techniques we learn and practice.

My ideas for the group meetings:

  • meet once a week
  • discuss tips and processes for staying positive and letting negative emotion dissipate
  • keep meetings to 1 hour as many of us have busy schedules
  • meet once a month for a social gathering (optional)
  • keep meetings positive!!
    • we are no longer telling our “stories,” arguing for our limitations, or claiming victim status.
    • We are looking for and reporting on the positive in our everyday lives – a task which will become easier and easier as the experiment continues).
    • I have some fun ideas to implement, such as a buzzer in the middle of the table to stop anyone trying to perpetuate their negative “stuff”, or monopolize the conversation.
  • there will be no agenda (beyond what I have laid out here) and no facilitator – we are all teachers, all students, all having equal input and equal time to speak.
  • I feel the group would function best if there are not more than six members. If I have a very favorable response to this, we could potentially have two groups meeting on different days for our weekly meetings and join together once a month for our social.

Below are some ideas for positive things to report during our weekly meetings.

  • an incident, project, experience turned out better than you anticipated
  • something you desired has manifested
  • you received good news
  • you gained clarity, received insight
  • you were inspired with an idea or impulse to act upon
  • you succeeded in looking for and finding a positive aspect of something which, in the past, had evoked only negative thoughts/emotions
  • you noticed an over-all change in your vibration (generally feeling better)
  • your vibration has changed for a specific reason (positive only)
  • you succeeded in letting negative emotion dissipate (no need to tell the negative story, only your experience of not keeping it active)
  • share which processes, techniques work for you

Further, here are some of the tips and processes that Abraham (and I) suggests for keeping positive momentum going and stopping the negative.

ENCOURAGING POSITIVE EMOTION

  • The best times for introducing and perpetuating positive thoughts/emotion are first thing in the morning, after a nap, or after meditation
  • garnering positive thought takes practice! Be easy on yourself, be patient and know that any movement in that direction is worthy of celebrating!!
  • if you can deliberately get on a positive subject and stay there – even for a few minutes a day at first – congratulate yourself and note your progress.
  • when you find yourself feeling good, for any reason, milk it and try to keep the momentum going
  • practice, practice, practice
  • make this a priority. Feeling good not only benefits you it benefits everyone you come in contact with!

SLOWING/STOPPING NEGATIVE EMOTION

  • negative emotion is easy to stop if you can catch it before it gains momentum (think of Abraham’s analogy of a car on top of a hill. If it starts to roll, you could step out in front of it and stop it easily enough. Or if an ember lands on your favorite sweater – you could flick it off right away it won’t do any damage). This is why it pays to be aware of how we feel moment by moment.
  • once negative thought gains momentum, it can’t be stopped as easily (think of standing at the bottom of the hill and trying to stop the car coming toward you). If this happens – and it will – allow it to play out. Trying to stop it just adds focus (aka momentum)!
  • Don’t beat yourself up for feeling bad – that just adds momentum!
  • Distract yourself – if possible watch a favorite movie, go for a walk, read a book, listen to uplifting music, call a friend :-))
  • Have a nap
  • meditate
  • remove yourself from the source. Leave the room, scene, situation, people/person if possible – sometimes even excusing yourself to go to the bathroom can allow you to turn your thoughts around. If you can’t, let it play out and know that you learned from the experience and will be able to start fresh tomorrow.
  • if it feels really bad, that means you have some powerful momentum going. LET IT PLAY OUT and find a way to start fresh when it subsides.
  • you can’t get it wrong and you never get it done. You will always be somewhere on your journey to well-being (connection, alignment, agreement with Source). See it as a process and enjoy the ride. Contrast is inevitable – learn to accept that and even appreciate it. It allows you to live in a world of choices, determine preferences, come to conclusions, and emit desires (which ultimately causes the expansion of the universe).
  • REMEMBER: YOU DESERVE TO FEEL GOOD!  

Offering An Apology (Sorry doesn’t have to feel bad)

An apology is definitely in order. I did something this evening that I’ve never (to my knowledge) done before. I stood up a friend – left her sitting alone in a coffee shop waiting for me for almost half an hour. I wasn’t even just late. I so completely forgot about our meeting that when she finally called, I was curled up on my sofa, in my jammies watching American Idol. For those of you who don’t know me well, this is not typical behavior (okay maybe the jammies and American Idol). But standing someone up, forgetting something I value as much as a latte with a friend? That’s just not me!  I’m organized and always write my appointments in my trusty day-timer. I keep my commitments; my word, my integrity, is important to me. I’m very conscientious of other’s feelings and would never intentionally hurt anyone.

So what happened?

I could tell you all how busy I am, how we made a last minute decision to go out of town this weekend and I have a dozen things to do to get ready. I could claim I was tired and probably needed an evening at home to rest, so my mind subconsciously blanked out that appointment. I could speculate that maybe there was a greater reason for us not meeting tonight and I just don’t know what it is yet.

I don’t know the answer. The bottom line is: I let a friend down, and I’m sorry.

One thing I noticed, however, is that I didn’t react in the way I might have (probably would have) in the past. I didn’t kick myself around the block and back. I didn’t beat myself up. I actually didn’t even feel bad (sorry, yes, but not bad – there’s a difference). It made me realize how far I’ve come in my determination to feel good at all cost.

I made the decision a few years ago that nothing was more important than feeling good. I’ve honored that promise to myself and have continually found new ways to achieve and maintain joy in my life. One thing that has helped me immensely is the understanding (from Abraham-Hicks) that feeling negative emotion only ever means one thing. It means that I’m choosing to think a thought that my Inner Being is not willing to think. And the reason I feel bad is that  in choosing to think that thought, I have separated me from ME.

So tonight when I was tempted to feel guilty or disappointed in myself, or when I was tempted to start to worry that I’m getting forgetful, I asked myself if my Inner Being would join me in those thoughts.

The answer was clearly NO!

As I focused on my Inner Being and felt the love that She has for me, the appreciation, the adoration, I felt joy. I felt inspired, too. I began to think of ways that I can show my friend how much she  means to me, how I can now go out of my way to do something for her, to let her know just how special she is. As our friendship evolves, I hope that one day we’ll look back on this and laugh, share what we’ve learned, and even understand the reason behind what happened (or didn’t happen). In any case, It’s all good!

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