Living (and writing about) the Law of Attraction!

Posts tagged ‘journaling’

Insights from Italy—Day 1: I was meant to fly!

Waiting…I don’t mind really. It’s relaxing and I can let my mind wander as opposed to the business of packing and preparing…endlessly searching my mind to try to ensure I’ve remembered everything we need for the trip.

Now I sit with a steaming latte in a comfy chair, watching the planes come and go. It’s interesting. As I pull my gaze from the still-pink morning sky, I notice the other passengers—some chatting enthusiastically, eager to get going on an adventure with friends or family; others, filling the chasm of time alone with their laptop or newspaper.

Then there’s the…fast forward…we’re on board now, the plane has reached cruising altitude and the seat-belt sign is off. I pull my journal out again and continue writing.

I was meant to fly!! I love the sensations—all of them, even the turbulence we’re now experiencing—but the take-off is my favorite part. We taxi endlessly, it seems, and then it happens. Sometimes there’s a pause, but today just a turn of the big bird as we align with the take-off strip. The engines roar (we’re sitting over the left wing, so it’s particularly loud) and suddenly my chest is sucked back into my seat. It’s an effort to tilt my head, even slightly, to look out the window. Even a deep breath takes a concerted effort. I think most people simply forget to breathe in those magical (or scary—depending on your views of flying) few seconds.

I love the power. I feel it all around and through me. I’m one with the aircraft—heavy and earthbound one minute, then suddenly light and free. I will never understand the science behind it; it’s enough for me just to be a part. Yes, I was meant to fly.

Eye (“I”) Issues

I’ve been having eye issues lately—teary, watery eyes. I understand that every physical manifestation is simply an indicator of what’s going on vibrationally, but you’d think that knowing that, I would have done some soul searching sooner. I actually took the action journey first—tried eye drops, both antihistamine and antibiotic and believe me when I say I did my fair share of complaining.

But finally the other day after this dragging on for almost three months, I started to look inside. I had been asking questions: “Why me?” “What’s this all about?” “What am I doing wrong?” and generally beating up on myself for not finding the alignment and therefore the wellbeing that I know deep-down is my birthright.

So the other day I changed my line of questioning and answers came very quickly. I asked myself what emotional issues matched the physical issue I was experiencing and started making correlations between the two. This is the process as it unfolded and ultimately what I discovered.

Eye➠seeing, sight, insight, understanding, knowing

Lack of sight➠lack of insight or understanding

Cloudy/blurred vision➠can’t see clearly, can’t see a way for something to happen

Problem is worse outdoors➠outside, outside what?

    • outside my comfort zone?
    • outside my safety net?
    • outside the box?

All of this seemed insightful, but didn’t really resonate with me. So I probed deeper.

Only my right eye is affected➠right (being right, need to be right?)

➠Right body/left brain (thinking, rationalizing, organized,reasoning side of me)

Eye➠I (capital I, me)

    • sense of self
    • beingness vrs Beingness
    • who am I?
    • self worth

I’d hit on something. I could feel that this was the root of the problem. It felt like a huge issue—one that I’ve dealt with (or grappled with but not resolved) many time over the years. I decided that I wanted to really look at the issue this time with complete honesty and find a way to change my vibration

This is the conversation I had with my inner Being (using left hand writing):

(right hand) “I (eye)’m not clear. What is it I’m not clear about?”

(left hand) “What do you want?”

“Why do you always answer a question with another question?”

“Questions evoke answers. Answers are within”

“But you know the answer”

“So do you – you and I are one.”

“It seems to always come back to this.”

“Maybe because this is what you’re not clear on.”

“Really? This is it?”

“I (eye) dentity!”

I gave it a lot of thought, knowing it was truth and knowing it was the answer I had been seeking, just not clear on how to apply it.

The next day I summed up what I was feeling in another two handed conversation (I find these to be very powerful!) and asked the question:

“So how can I see myself (and everything else) through the eyes of Source?”

“Change that to the ‘I’ of Source – that’s where the issue is. You are the ‘I’ of Source.”

That one statement was a powerful Aha! I knew it to be true, could feel it resonate deeply. So my work now is to remind myself over and over of who I am.

I AM THE EYE ‘I’ OF SOURCE!

My inner Being confirmed it with the following conversation:

“It’s not an issue to be debated. It’s who you are. It can’t be changed. You can never be less than who you really are.”

“But I can feel ‘less than’ and convince myself it’s true just because I feel it.”

“A story isn’t true just because it’s been told over and over or written down for all to see.”

“So I just tell a different story—a better story. Why are the answers always the same? I know this stuff!!”

“Don’t just talk about telling a different story. Do it. Start telling it right now.”

So I started telling the story differently, but as many of you can relate, a new story can sound phony at first. My inner critic is bringing up a lot of objections, but I’m telling him where to go. I can do this. I deserve to know the truth and live the truth of who I AM.

I (EYE) AM GAINING CLARITY

I (EYE) AM BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND (SEE) WHO I AM

I (EYE) SEE ALL I NEED TO SEE IN ANY GIVEN MOMENT

I (EYE) AM SEEING MORE ALL THE TIME

I (EYE) CAN SEE THE SOURCE OF MY WELLBEING

I (EYE) AM THE I (EYE) OF SOURCE

I (EYE) KNOW WHO I AM

I (EYE) CAN SEE MY TRUE REALITY

I (EYE) CAN SEE PAST WHAT ‘IS’ (WHAT SEEMS TO BE)

I (EYE) CAN SEE WHAT CAN BE (WHAT TRULY IS)

I MOVE FORWARD WITH CONFIDENCE, EASE, SAFETY AND JOY.

I AM ALL THAT I NEED. I AM ENOUGH!!

Knowing this I, here and now, make a pledge to myself to honor and uplift that which I AM! I will not devalue myself or allow myself to feel ‘less than.’ I will see myself in others and see others as a reflection of me. I will endeavor to ‘be’ who I AM, whether in the comfort and safety of my private space, or in the midst of many. I will make the JOY OF BEING my ultimate goal and see all other outcomes as merely a reflection of my choice of focus. I (eye) will strive to see good (God) in all and to see my choices and activities as being divinely orchestrated. I can do no wrong. I can make no mistakes. I can never be less than that which I AM. I AM the power and presence of the beloved energy Source I know as God. And so it is!

Talking to Myself

I don’t know exactly when I started talking to myself.  Maybe it’s something we all do.  But I do remember the day, several years ago, when I started writing these conversations down.  I had just finished reading Lucia Capacchione’s book, “The Power of the Other Hand”.  The idea of writing with my left hand seemed weird at first and when I tried, it was barely legible, but I was intrigued with the concept.                                 

The conversations in my head were an ongoing dialogue. When I stopped to pay attention, I realized there were different characters.  There was “Larry”, my inner critic. He was loud and at first he was the only one I heard.  But when I really listened, I heard a child’s voice – vulnerable, yet playful.  As I paid attention to my inner child and assured her of my love, she seemed to evolve into this wise, loving being.  I started writing down what I heard in my head and then as I got more proficient at writing with my left hand, the conversations began to flow naturally.  One day I wrote:

“I want to experience “God”.  I’ve always believed in a divine presence, but I’m not sure I really believe that I am a divine being.  Please help me to understand this.” 

“Oh, how I love you!  Do you remember the first time you were able to say that to yourself?  That was me.  You came to understand that and began to let my love in.   You could feel me.  I have been with you every step of this journey, gently guiding you as you were ready.  Don’t worry; I’ll always be there with you.”

“I like talking to you this way.  I feel your presence, your embrace.  I want to experience you as me though, not just a power outside of me – which is where I think I’ve always seen you.”

“I’ve never been outside of you.  I don’t know what that feels like.  I am you.  I experience life through you.”

 “Can you give me an example?”

“Think of a sock.  If you turn it inside out, it’s still a sock.  It’s not what’s inside or outside it that makes it a sock.  It just is.”

“You compare yourself to a sock?” 

“That’s as down to earth as I could get.  But really, if I am you and you are me, then it’s not what’s inside you or outside you that matters.  It’s you.  You are divine.  I’m not just a presence you feel, I am you.  I’m not now nor have I ever been separate from you.  How could I be when we are one?”

“I think I understand this, but I want to feel you as me – to have a life changing experience that, well, changes my life!”

“Your life has changed dramatically in the last while.  We could speed things up, but why not just enjoy the journey?  You’ve got no deadline.  This never ends.  I’ve been showing myself to you – showing you to yourself.  You’re beginning to get it.  Keep talking to me.  Keep the connection open.”

“Okay, now I’m confused again!  When you say ‘keep the connection open’, it feels like you are separate from me.  How can I not be connected if I am you?”

“A connection in the physical realm involves two separate entities, but in the spiritual realm, connection is like awareness or knowing.  Keeping that connection open is like being aware of who you are.  Negative thoughts like doubt or worry pinch off your awareness of your divine nature.”

“Thank you that makes so much sense.”   

“Now that you acknowledge me (us), we can get on with dreaming, creating, BE-ing. We’re here to enjoy life.  Remember how much I love you.  Bathe yourself in the knowledge of your divine nature.  Be all that you are!”

Tag Cloud